I felt like I should post.
I’m not sure why. I’ve certainly gone longer than this without posting, but I felt compelled to post something today.
I’m still working although this week (third of the five I plan to work before blessed, blessed maternity leave) has become suddenly more difficult than the prior two. I’m not sure when I managed to grow to the point where my coworkers pretty much all struggle to get by me in the kiosk, but it was sometime recently. So now my back and butt bare some bruises from being jammed into metal edges and drawer handles in order to try to let other people squirm past me. I tried buying Dr. Scholls heel supports at the physical therapists advice but my feet were still in excruciating pain by the end of my shift today. I’ve been using a belly support that seemed to help the first two weeks but now it’s just itchy and sort of acting as a sweat absorber.
I’m physically very tired and while the reality is I’m only working a total of 12 more days before I’m done, it feels so much more trying when I’m sitting on a chair at the end of a shift staring dazed at the stone walls of the station and wishing I could somehow replace my feet with bionic ones just for work.
I’m lucky in that my coworkers are all understanding and try to give me plenty of time to sit. My manager lets me go a little early on days when she sees I’m really struggling. I won’t lie; I’m feeling very bitter about doctors in Gent in general right now and despite Piet mentioning that maybe I go back to talk to one about my discomfort, I’m refusing.
Because I’m that kind of stubborn.
The kind that would rather grit my teeth and deal with discomfort than place myself under the scrutiny of yet another person who may tell me that my physical pain “isn’t my real problem.” As long as I can feel the baby moving, I know he isn’t in harms way, so I’m going to suck it up and try to deal with it for the next 2 weeks, but I can’t even tell you how much I wish I had some sort of desk job right now.