“You need people because…”
Ah. Touché Imagination Prompt Generator, touché.
Just when I was thinking I should probably write a post acknowledging Piet and how great he’s been the last month or two, the prompt generator gives me this topic. Perfect timing.
Now, I’ve read some posts by other pregnant women lauding their husbands for being on the ball with their food cravings, being always willing to go out in the middle of whenever to pick up whatever his wife wants, etc.,etc.
Piet doesn’t do that.
I once asked him if he could bring me back a cheeseburger from Mcdonalds since he was stopping there to eat on his way home from work and he refused because he felt weird carrying a McDonalds bag on the bus. He did offer to come home, get us both in the car, drive to another McDonalds and eat with me. I turned him down because the key element of my request hadn’t really been the cheeseburger, it had been the me not having to hoist my huge self out of the couch to acquire food in the first place.
What Piet has done, and what he’s pretty much always done, is take care of the multiple administrative odds and ends that come along with having a baby in Belgium. There are so many forms here to fill out when you’re expecting a child and granted several of them are so that you get some extra money to help with baby expenses, but really, when I was juggling the pile of paperwork I had to submit to my health insurance and prod my work to submit to my health insurance to be paid for sick leave I didn’t want to see any other papers/procedures/anything, especially if it was written in Dutch and required signatures and me running across town and back to make copies and drop everything off at the proper place.
Piet took care of all the paperwork he could, on top of applying to several places for options in childcare, doing his regular day job and working on rebuilding the house with his dad. He weathered my temper every time I wasn’t thrilled with the way we were treated by the gynecologist and has been present at every doctors appointment except one, every information session at the hospital, and the important pre natal physical therapy sessions I’ve been attending the last month or two. He basically designed our birth announcement with some images I picked out and we both agreed we liked and lugged dozens of jars home from work for me to fill/decorate for the geboortesuiker thing they do here which I think I mentioned before.
Above all, he’s been amazingly patient with my neurotic tendencies. I made the mistake this week while skimming through some pregnancy websites of reading a thread prefaced with a big *TRIGGER* in front of the topic, but I’m an idiot and I proceeded to read a thread on a pregnancy forum wherein a woman ended up having an emergency c-section to deliver her 38ish week old baby who had suddenly, for no apparent reason, died in-utero.
Which, y’know, was really awesome for me to read since Tuesday I’ll be 38 week pregnant.
So of course the past 3 days or so I’ve been waking up every morning, lying super still and willing the baby to move a bit because if I don’t feel something right away I start panicking and poking my belly and wondering if I should go drink an espresso or something because why won’t you move in there and give me an indication that you’re alive, dammit aaaauuuuuggghhhh!
Or, okay, I definitely felt him moving this morning, but now it’s been a couple hours and yes I know everyone says you don’t feel babies move as often this late in the pregnancy because there’s not much room left in there, but still, why am I not feeling him now? Should I only worry if I don’t feel him at all or should I start worrying if I haven’t felt him for a few hours or should I just chill out because I’m over reacting and triggertriggertrigger, why did I read that thread?? ACK!!
And while most husbands would’ve probably duct taped their wives mouth shut by now or considered calling the doctor to ask for a safe prescription sedative, Piet is patiently reassuring me and not looking at me like I’m a crazy person when I start shaking my belly or insisting that I drink a cola now because cola makes the baby move and I really need to feel him move right now, okay? Okay??
He’s doing all of the important things. Maybe he doesn’t bow down to my every whim and I admit, at times I was angry because I don’t know, sometimes it seems like some men pretty much do whatever their wife tells them to when they’re pregnant. but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that ok, maybe Piet doesn’t always get me something on his way home from work if I ask for it, but he tells me I look pretty, even when I’m lying in bed in a ratty tank top with my hair sticking out all over the place, complaining about leaky boobs.
I’m not sure how to say it best.
He doesn’t spoil me in those stereotypic ways you hear about or see in movies, but he gives me the kind of emotional support I need (which pretty much every other man in my life prior to him has deemed to be too labor intensive) while keeping my feet on the ground and not letting me get away with thinking I’m entitled to things I’m not.
I need him to keep me sane, especially during these last 2-3 weeks, which are going by excruciatingly slow. He makes me a stronger person and he makes me feel loved. Which I think any woman needs when they’re walking around looking like this: